I can’t tweet.
I’ve tried and tried but I just can’t do it. I don’t know what to say. I can’t put my thoughts succinctly enough and when I do they just come out sounding silly, boring or worse, pretentious. I’ve been following various writers and industry success stories and most of them tweet about what they’re writing, quote people or make practical comments about useful websites etc.
It’s not really creative or, for the most part, that interesting. There I said it, sorry! But really it isn’t. Some of it is useful, some of it is insightful, either about the world, or more often, the individual. Neil Gaiman for example tweets constantly and, as a fan, I like to hear how he’s spending his time, but that’s because I’m a fan. He has earned the right to chatter on twitter.
But what of people like me, with my impressive two followers? What can I tweet that will interest them and encourage more? I’ve read lots of guides to tweeting, but essentially it’s “Be interesting”. Does this mean I’m not interesting? I’m not listening to that voice. It’s not lack of ideas. I could tweet about telling my adorable three year old that yes, she is a “big girl” but not a “big enough girl” to fit into that t-shirt. She is in fact a “medium sized girl”, but no, not a “little girl” all in the aisles of the local supermarket. Or how about my views on current affairs, over a 100 killed in Libya by a government turning heavy weaponry on their own people? Isn’t it great that the internet is making sure these people arn’t going through this behind closed doors? I could tweet about my cooking exploits as I trial new recipes and fail to get active yeast to go frothy before mixing it with flour. What about my experiences in the carpark as someone insists on undertaking me when I’m reversing into a parking space as waiting the extra 10 seconds was just not possible for them (but was, apparently for me).
Seriously, who, other than a few close friends and family, really wants to hear my thoughts on these things? So, if that’s all out. Then what, do I tweet about?
There are people out there doing great things with 140 characters, but they are few and far between. Most people seem to be whittering. Which is, I guess, where the idea came from. It’s babble of biblical proportions and I think I’m one of the ones who was counfounded early. Or perhaps I simply never joined in the first place.